Reaching Summer

I have NEVER had any real inclination toward Florida. OK, maybe when I was six I might have harbored Disney-like thoughts because I overheard a conversation at my grandparent's house about a once upon a time drive to Florida and Disney (what exactly is this Disney business, wonders the kid with very little exposure to TeeVee) but I don't think Disney + Florida existed in my realm of possibility. It didn't involve a drop zone or skydivers or anything like that and later by the time we were vacationing on the Outer Banks the idea of Florida was gone because the idea of Disney had remoted itself right off the imagination plane.

I went to Florida for the first time when I was 23 and Numbah One Son was maybe a year old and it was just a four day weekend and it was COLD and we weren't prepared. We were staying at my in-law's condo. They hadn't moved in full time yet and wouldn't be expected to go until after Christmas so we took advantage of cheap airfare and free lodging and off we went. I decided these things:

1. Florida in the winter is overrated (who goes to the beach when it's 40 degrees? (F))
2. Babies should not be allowed on airplanes without a certificate of health from a pediatrician certified AT THE GATE (I'm talking about ears, people)
3. Never travel with less than 4 dozen diapers and a gross of wet wipes (remind me to tell you about the poop explosion in the airplane lavatory. never mind)
4. Really old people tend to drive erratically
5. Always pack a sweater
6. Florida is a long, coldish, sand and pink colored strip mall with palm trees
7. Apparently we will not be having OJ this year

I saw no reason to return.

Two years later I was in Orlando in April at a conference at a Disney compound and it was an entirely OTHER experience but still... contained and somewhat alien. I decided these things:

1. Florida gets hot and windy in April
2. Florida is the middle of nowhere
3. Florida is a giant conference center full of large dolphin like sculptures and a lot of alcohol
4. Florida has very unusual shaped pools
5. Florida has REALLY COOL AMUSEMENT PARKS but I would NEVER come here if it wasn't shut down just for the user conference because if this place was chock full of screaming kids and their parents I think I'd have heart failure. It's that big. Also, there are signs at a lot of the rides that sort of clue you in about how much longer until we gettttt therrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee.... 120 minutes.... 45 minutes.... 20 minutes.... oh hell no. 

I saw no reason to return.

I had a lot of trips like this. Some of them involved side trips to visit my brother at a drop zone in Deland which once involved a side trip to Daytona and some mildly bad behavior on that particular beach and one trip to a Robert Plant concert with my cousin when he was at Ekerd which ended with me and my brother leaving the concert and laying on our backs on the grass outside until my cousin and his friends staggered outside in a post concert haze of smoke and pre-post-party vomit.

Definitely no reason to return. Always good to see family though.

My own children suggested I get my head outta my butt about four and a half years ago and seven of us went to Disney for Cletus's 16th birthday. We stayed at a 3 bedroom condo off Disney property, ended up with two rental cars, stayed for five days (which included travel), went to three parks and ate out once. Overall, not terrible. Everybody had fun. Everybody came home happy. Relatively pain free given the circumstances. We certainly could have spent less money but on the other hand we certainly could have spent an awful lot more. It left me scratching my head. Families do this over and over again with multiple children, stay in lodging where they are forced to eat out and and and (the numbers went bonkers in my head). Anyway, that's not really my point. My point is, we did this, it was cool and...

I see no reason to do it again.

And I figure that about wraps up Florida, right? I mean, what else is there? OK, there's Daytona Beach. No. Key West. No. Miami. Been there, did that, user conference. The Keys. What's in The Keys? No, really, what's in The Keys? Key West is in The Keys. I think not.

Miles and miles of beach and sand and pink colored strip malls.

No and no and no.

And then Elizabeth got her teeth sunk into Big Pine Key. She got her teeth sunk into Big Pine Key because I vetoed Key West because of its reputation. I said, try something smaller. Find another Key. Knock yourself out kid, and make it cheap. REALLY cheap. Airfare in August from NYC to Miami is about as good as it gets, by the way.

So now I'm finding out about Florida. I have absolutely no idea what there is to find out about Florida but I guess that's the point. That doesn't mean we're going to Florida. That just means I'm getting out of the way. Again.  

And shutting up.

You know those people who instantly have a negative argument when you say you're going to do something or want to do something or are thinking about doing something? 99.999999999999% of the time they justify it by telling themselves and you that they're just looking out for you; giving you the benefit of their experience, telling you what they know you ought to be doing or not doing and for them it's real. The answer, I mean. They can't see it any other way. There aren't any other possibilities.

Cletus is struggling with her trip to Europe. She's afraid to tell her father. She's afraid she'll lose her job (fine). She asked her brother how to deal with her father. Her brother said it was too dangerous to go. Her brother said she wouldn't have a job when she came back (that would be her father's answer). This would be where we stare at the obstacles and decide what we're going to do with them. But this is also how we're beaten into submission. Or how we allow ourselves to be beaten... that's a very fine line.

I think there is a time and a place and then I think people ought to shut the hell up and say just do it or say nothing.

I think it's really hard sometimes to get past our own agenda. *I* know perfectly well I have a hard time getting past my own agenda (or even finding my own agenda in the muddle) but I'll tell you this; it is NOT freaking black and white, people. Ever.

And damn, ain't that a bitch?

I have an awful lot of energy on this, don't I?

So this Florida thing...

Comments

[Florkow]

Suck it up! The Keys are completely unlike the rest of Florida. And my kids love Key West too.

[okjimm]

WoWzers... just caught up on your back pages! It seems like your life just gets more interesting alla time. Be careful. The whole deal with the Dude...shheesh!....

Florida? I liked the Gulf Coast....just south of Tampa....Lotta neat swamps to explore...and some nifty BBQ joints. Nice beaches around Clearwater.