God. Probably I should go back and read the last post but I'd probably get side tracked and wander off before I got around to actually writing this post and well, that would sort of suck.
I was going to title this post MoFos and Crack Hos.
But I couldn't come up with any Crack Hos. To speak of. Maybe by the time I get to the end I'll think of some and then I'll have a good enough reason to change the title.
Nothing has been happening. We've been in a holding pattern BECAUSE we have to get through the quarter close and I haven't shown any signs of being:
- immediately litigious
- a flight risk
- in immediate danger of drowning
- imminently homicidal
Apparently Sr. Management needs to weigh the cost on the business. Or take into account the cost on or to the business or decide what they're going to do or
Yes, yes, I hear you. I do indeed hear you. You people are indeed in hot water and this is going to hurt a wicked lot no matter how you slice it AND as it turns out you're going to have to take this all the way to the CFO herself from who's lips to God were uttered the very words...
thou shalt not tolerate a bad manager to exist in the ranks.
Or something like that.
The reason I THOUGHT something might be occurring is because he seemed to be acting like he was being coached now and then but as it turns out that isn't the case, at least not officially and as I happened to mention to my boss's boss's boss when I finally popped in (at the request of HR after a small confession on my part), it's entirely possible he knows which boss's boss's boss agreed at which point I shrugged and said
Mostly I'm OK. I have small meltdowns now and then. One of them was in the HR bunker at the desk of the Employee Relations person I go to see for updates. Not that there are many updates because everyone is very busy (including me) and we're in a holding pattern. I burst into tears the last time I was in there because he'd just been particularly heinous and I think the timing was just off. Mostly this stuff just slides off my shoulders until I need a fresh coat of sealant or I get up and let him have it or something.
Shit has been hitting the fan EVERYWHERE this quarter. See, THIS is what happens when you make multiple database changes on the fly and you don't put them into a test environment and you don't THINK them through. Shit breaks. FOR EXAMPLE. IF. you change the name of a program member and that program member is later used in a formula, say somewhere else up the line in the database and you don't freakin' think to even do a search on the db for the member formerly known as... and we're well past the age of compilers... well, the formula will simply fail to load because, you know, you are now in this day and age permitted to build, load and launch databases with as many bad formulas in them as you'd like and then when you have one of your MORE CHALLENGED EMPLOYEES (that poor freaking man) validate this piece of shit and it blows all to hell...
Let's just say there was an awful lot of this.
One of my dbs, for example, was raped, pillaged and burned about 2 weeks ago. I threw my hands up while it was happening (for any geeks who care: it's a triangulated datbase. You have one that holds a base structure and does a bunch of cool stuff. You have another that is one of the primary statistical dbs for the company. The 'front end' is built from a combination of the metadata from these two and the new quarterly data). And when it was time to build the front end and the damn thing blew six ways to hell I sighed, packed up my bags (on Friday at 5 after spending a few hours with a mangled front end that looked like it had been fed through a cheese grinder at high speed (yeah, you can do that to a database, really you can) and the original developer because thankfully Boss had removed himself from the premises for a haircut. Or something.) and decided to work it out this weekend.
Holy Mother Mary and Joseph and Sweet Baby Jeebus and All of the Above.
I'm not touching that thing and it's due tomorrow.
Anyway, back to Thursday I think.
One of these clusterfucks had been found and fixed. I found and fixed one of them and then I told Peer. Hey Peer, you're going to find this problem in that db you're putting together. Let's fix it. So we did. I swear to you, I watched him fix and save the damn thing. Time comes to validate and it doesn't validate so I call him over to my desk which is top in a row of three and we walk through the validation and I say:
Me: Hey! I know what this is!
Him: You do? (beading sweat drips onto my desk and I hand him a wad of napkins)
Me: Yep. It's that fix we fixed that apparently didn't fix.
Him: Squeek. I fixed it. I know I did.
Me: I know. I saw you fix it. Don't worry.
Him: But how can that...
Me: Let's open it up and have a look (opens db.... has a look under the hood) Hey! Would you look at that! That bad formula is still bad!
Me: Um, Dude. You cannot get upset over this. It's a quick ten minute fix and then you're off and running. You don't need a rebuild. And remember what what's his name said? He said, ask yourself this: 'Are there any dead babies?'
Me: Peer. Are. There. Any. Dead. Babies in this database?
Him: (grinning) Nope.
Me: OK good. This just means you and me messed up and saved a change somewhere else where it needed to be saved anyway and that's pretty damn funny and then I started to laugh and he laughed too and I hit save and we waited... (it doesn't take too long).
Boss: That better be nervous laughter.
Me: It's not. We don't have anything to be nervous about with this one. It's resolved; we're good.
Boss: Then you two are a word I can't use in a corporate environment.
Me: Static and white noise...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Wow. I just lost half my post. Well. I guess you get the point.
So, hey, this is important (that is not):
I realize the grass needs to be cut. It's not a priority. She is though. This is her last year. There won't be anymore of these pre-recital pre-photoshoot things. That in itself is a story but the time to choose came about two years earlier than it probably should have. So she chose out. Poor kid. Lucky kid. She got a full dose of heartache and drama but missed every bit of the physical wear and tear that was right around the corner.
Remind me to get the yellow on her face toned down before June. Gak.
CLETUS WAS ADMITTED TO SOUTHERN AS A FULL TIME ON CAMPUS STUDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(and will be moving in shortly after returning from Europe)
Cletus goes to Orientation On May 29 - May 30. Or maybe it's May 31 and June 1. That actually sounds more like it. Because she flies to Italy on June 2. Heh. Then she comes home on August 22 or 23 and school starts um, pretty soon. Like that week. The very next day maybe.
So. There you go. I'm still kicking. I don't actually have any chickens and there isn't a damn thing in the garden but it's not too late. And you know what? It doesn't actually matter right now. Not just now.
Because I might be really tired but I'm nowhere near demoralized and I've been doing something I've never in my entire life been able to come anywhere near doing. I don't think people do this very often at all. Or at least they don't do it and not lose their shit anyway.
Because, see, if you go here, which was just, oh, I don't know 42 days ago? I was suffering from something I somewhat affectionately referred to as mild cognitive impairment.
This bitch ain't NOWHERE NEAR IMPAIRED AT THE MOMENT.
OK good. Moving right along now.