Well that's an awful lot of information now that I look at it. I'm considering an analysis but I don't really have time. I'm here to discuss unreasonable behavior as in...
- I can't
- I shouldn't
- It's too much
- That won't work
- I can't do this anymore
- That's too hard
- I don't know how
- I can't face that
- It won't make any difference
- I'm too tired
- Nobody's going to buy into this anyway, so why bother?
- I don't have an adequate support system
- Who will help me?
- I can't ask that of him/her/them
- That was completely unreasonable
- I have no idea how to deal with that
That's just what's coming up for me today, now, in this very tired moment.
Anyway, that odometer, add three miles and you'll have last night's round trip to the Amherst dance where I suddenly realized I really needed to be even though it was a SCHOOL NIGHT and I was on dance pickup at 7:30 in Stamford without backup because it was back to school night for WMS and so Elizabeth's dad was going and so was the mom on drop off duty and we're the only Weston girls and so there really wasn't any *reasonable* pickup alternative and I was SOL when it occurred to me that there were a number of very compelling reasons for me to be at that dance last night.
So I made a phone call at 11:06 and talked for 2 minutes. Nope. Shit. Crap oh bloody hell.
I sat on that for awhile and I was very sad. And then I sat for a little while longer and at 11:58 I made another phone call and talked for 1 minute. Then I sent a text message to the drop off mom giving fair warning and then at 12:07 I sent an email to the 4 possible mothers and then I waited.
I waited precisely 4 minutes. Guess who answered me? The one other full time working mom (not counting my drop off mom). The one with the 60 - 70 hour work week. She would take my children home.
Elizabeth's dad was willing to stay at the house until I returned at roughly... midnight I texted...
I looked down at what I was wearing and while it wasn't optimal it wasn't what I almost put on either. I almost put on this tweed silk ensemble that would have rocked the dance floor like Dana Carvey's Church Lady temporarily possessed by Jessica Hahn. Yes, I own that in a size 12 and I'm a 6/8 and there was no way I could pull that off. If I'd had to dance with it sans jacket all hell would have broken loose. I had it on the bed yesterday planning where to put the darts to take it in and wondering about the temporary use of pins for the day... and then, nah... and hung it back up. As it was, the skirt I had on was too big and pinned and so was the twin set. The sweater came off leaving the shell and I was prepared to dance barefoot so that was ok.
There were multiple accidents on the parkway. I left at 5, I arrived at 8. I nearly ran out of gas on the drive North because I'd forgotten I didn't actually have any. I turned into a pumpkin at 10, got out at about 10:20 and home at midnight:03 thereby releasing Elizabeth's dad more or less on time.
It was all about this:
Which is so completely unreasonable, every last thing about it (ok, not really), as to be nearly inconceivable at times.
And yet, there it is.
I didn't bother to tell him I was coming. I just walked in the door. Sometimes I think it's better that way.