I got the first message when we were at the beach and I think I just deleted it. When I got back to my office there was a red light on my phone but I ignored it because I only ever pick up the green lights because those are the departmental messages and I'll get my ass kicked if I don't pick those up in a timely manner and sure enough, my team ignored them while I was away. I scrambled. The second email mentioned something about leaving me a message and I thought, what the hell? left me a message where? And I picked up the red light messages and thought, my, aren't YOU a bold one? Not only did you call while I was on vacation but you called through the switch and you did it twice. You looked me up on LinkedIn where I tell the whole world who I work for and you called me at my place of employment. Well of course you did, you cheeky recruiter. And my, aren't you persistent. OK fine. I'll have a look.
In the immortal words of my dear Cletus and her currently missing high school BFF, L, LE GASP!
Oh holy hell, a real job.
Let us back up a few years to my brief affair with Yonkers back in November, 2011 in which I was seduced by a man who worked for my current company but became my ex-boss so fast his and a number of other heads spun and green soup spit out and all the rest.
I can't really call this a not real job but it sure has been a painful sort of job. There are a lot of things I like about it but I have to work really hard to get at them and they don't involve my immediate department although I am periodically quite fond of the guy who's been sitting behind me since I got here. That is when he's not trying to throw me under the bus in a panicked attempt to save his own life. I don't blame him in the least. It's the culture. Anyway, It's been frog boily like and it's not like I don't know; I am fully cognizant and both Peer and I are aware that 2 - 3 times a year we are both tormented within an inch of our sanity and we really aren't sure why. We do know it has to stop though and we have decided it isn't just going to stop if we wait it out and keep trying to work harder. Corporate wide our management survey is 5.7 on a scale of 1 - 10. It's not like we don't all know.
Anyway. I booked a conference room and spoke with the recruiter. We talked about the job, salary, what I'm doing now, what I've done in the past and what I'd really like to be doing. I said that as soon as I got here I realized I'd made a mistake but sucked it up because I'd committed to being here. He asked for an updated resume. We're in the middle of the close and I choke on this sort of thing. I got up at 5:30 the other morning and updated my resume. I've never had to do it that fast. I had no one to proof it. No one in my industry to look at it. The best I could do was read it out loud. It had to be modified back to a leadership position. I remembered that I'd altered it for TheBigBank to emphasize the tech skills and leave out most of the current leadership. I had to put that back in because that's what's relevant now. I had to get it back onto 3 pages. I had to drop my first three jobs to single line bullets. I had to remove any sign of a date from my education. That's what we're doing these days, by the way. Read about it. In order to avoid age discrimination, dates are being removed from education unless it's absolutely relevant. I realized I've had this format exactly since, wait for it...
It's still a viable format and it's probably a lot prettier than it was in 1997 in terms of where I put the white space (what white space) but the format of the summary of who I am followed by the company, company bio (one line), dates, job description (one to two lines) and then key accomplishments is still valid. I haven't messed with it. Maybe I'll play with the font.
The recruiter thinks I'm great. He's a far cry from Yonkers. I spoke with the hiring manager today who seems to have control of himself and this time I *think* I have a better handle on what I need to be looking for. I'm scared though. It's a high profile position and here's the thing.
I fell off that ladder in 2003.
And I fell damn hard.
I got boo boos.
I was really good at it though. My friend Kate sent me the same resume because she spoke with an associate from the same recruiting firm (I'm working with a partner who owns the account) and Kate worked for me before I feel down and got boo boos or as she put it, before I handed my power over to David and then cracked my head open.
She said, here, take this.
At The Factory I stopped breathing if I had to do anything particularly high profile (OK, not always). It's not that I'm not any good at it. I'm really good at it. It's that I had boo boos and I gave my power away and I really didn't want to go there again. Powerless is so much safer, don't you think? OK, it's not, actually.
So when I first looked at the job description I thought, well, I think I can do maybe 25% of this, fake another 50% until I learn it in the 90 day grace period but I don't know what I'm going to do about that last 25%. I need a mentor. Yikes.
I thought about it for awhile and the recruiter kept saying it was a perfect fit even after he talked to me and then I talked to the hiring manager and he kept saying the words perfect and fit and then I looked at the job description again and I'm thinking, oh,hey, I can do 65% of this and fake 25% of it until I work it out during the 90 day grace period and that 10% unknown? Well that's just unknown.
Oh. Right. The uncomfortable scary place where I used to go all the time. Welcome back, Alecto.
I just read the job title again. It's what I actually went to school for. How often does that shit really happen? Management Information Systems is no longer a viable BS and that alone on my resume will give me away sort of in terms of when I went to school but it's been replaced by something just as valid. It means you're technical and can code your way out of a box but you don't mean to be an uber geek. You mean to be a finance geek who runs systems from either the IT or the Finance side. It was the beginning of the business world acknowledging that it needed senior management to run systems. So that's what I chose way back when and it was a very new thing and now here I am looking at exactly that.
Well alrighty then. I would like to do this. Perhaps there will be a live interview sometime week after next if we can pull everyone together I'm supposed to meet all at once.