You didn't believe me, did you? Well you should have. If you've been around any length of time. I should have believed her as well, if only because she just can't or won't make this shit up.
She said, I didn't get a lot of time to shop because I was sitting on the stool watching the man paint the binders most of the afternoon so when it was time to go to the bus I could only look in the windows and mostly the shops had pretty much the same things I think... bowls and boards and some clothes and carved, painted things, and key chains and frogs, frogs having SEX, MOM!
What? (I didn't quite hear you the first time, It's just after 2 AM, I've had two quarts of coffee and it's incredibly dark out here even with my brights on plus you're getting a bit shrill and that makes a difference somehow)
All the frogs were having sex... Mom.
Um. Maybe they were fertility frogs?
I don't think so.
They were having just a LITTLE TOO MUCH FUN to be fertility frogs.
They had frogs doing it in every position you can imagine.
How is it you know this is every position I can imagine?
Mom. There were a lot of them, OK? And if you can imagine more I don't need to know about it.
I saw two dogs doing it.
In the street.
Yeah, seriously and my jaw dropped open for real. Like really. It dropped open. My advisor, Michael, the guy who took me away from you in the parking lot last week? He laughed and said, Elizabeth! Behold! Life!
I've failed you yet again.
Well, I grew up with copulating cats and dogs and babies being born all over the place, kittens and puppies and all that and running into the house shouting, Mom! Duchess is making babies! And she was, right there in the front yard except my mother was trying to sell a boxer puppy to a nice lady in hat and gloves who probably didn't expect to hear that from the mouth of a six year old girl.
OK, fine, fucking cats and dogs. Happy now?
What about the frogs?
I'm not responsible for the frogs. I grew up with frogs and I don't recall any such thing and you grew up with a back swamp FULL OF FREAKING FROGS and you're just as responsible as I am for noticing what they do or do not do on their own time.
I'm going to have to check out these frogs.
Well I suggest you start with those peepers because they're still singing their come and get it song and now would be a very good time to catch them in the act.
Mom, you really should have seen those dogs.
Elizabeth, I have really seen my share of those dogs.
Five minutes of silence...
What else have you seen?
Three minutes of silence...
Elizabeth, I can see where this is going and we are NOT having another penis conversation. It's too damn close to dawn for that sort of thing.
Later I uploaded the 127 photographs she managed to capture before the battery blew out (and she lost the spare) and found the frog through the window.