And older too.
Crowd behavior is funny. I wrote a piece awhile back on commuter traffic, the unspoken rules and regulations of any particular stretch of frequently traveled road and the punishment meted out for rule infringement. Trains are the same way and it only took me this long to work it out.
The trains are getting crowded again ('again' you say? Yes, again. It was bad and then it got better because so many of us feel entitled to park our BMWs on I95 and crawl slowly into whatever city we happen to call a workplace). This is a good sign; means less cars on the road in theory.
We feel we are entitled to space and have developed a series of subtle and not so subtle maneuvers designed to insure that space. These maneuvers are hardly new but for awhile things were so bad that the bad manners went away out of desperation. And then we parked our cars on the freeway and the bad manners came back. There once was a guy (probably more than one guy) who devoted an entire blog to documenting passenger atrocities on the Metro North line. You can find him here if you're so inclined, although he hasn't posted since January 18, 2006, which saddens me because he wrote some great stuff.
On the other hand I do understand the natural inclination to have that lovely three feet of personal space but I'm not so willing to be rude to get it. I will, however, be rude as hell to get a seat (within reason, of course, always within reason. Um, my reason).
Here are the most obvious:
- Sitting in a 2 seater on the outside leaving the inside seat empty.
- Sitting in a 2 seater with your bag on the empty seat.
- Sitting in both seats of a 2 seater (requires talent and balance but can be done, I've seen it).
- Sitting on the outside of a 3 seater.
- Sitting in a 4 seater with your feet on the seat across.
- Sitting in a 4 seater on the inside seat with your feet across diagonally to the outside seat across.
- Sitting in the middle of a 3 seater with bags on either side (the most heinous of all acts to date).
- Sitting in the middle of a 3 seater passed out with your head between your legs (NOBODY is going to sit next to that)
- Sitting anywhere and spewing vomit.
- Dousing oneself in rancid perfume (just plain smelling bad would be preferable).
I could go on but 10 will suffice.
Little Alecto would not have approached any of those situations. Little Alecto would have chosen the outside of a 3 seater or just one of a 2 seater or just stood for however long it took to get to her destination (by the way, Little Alecto NEVER had any such qualms about the NYC subways, not sure what that's all about). Little Alecto would have been far more concerned with offending the offensive to even consider.
Little Alecto grew up. Or something.
I take great joy in selecting a seat. Isn't that awful? I work very hard to select a seat from the greediest SOB on the car I happen to step into. This morning was almost funny. Nomans and I took the train in together (at some point I'll probably get around to explaining that) and he, being the romantic that he is, wanted to sit together. Funny, I think, really, you can't do that on this train. The best you can hope for is two outer seat 2s one in front and one in back. I head for a pair of those and he points to a line backer in a suit sitting on the outside of a 3 seater with his 'stuff' on the middle seat. I walk up to him and say "I'll be needing those two seats." I should probably have said "We'll be needing those two seats" but I'm not sure he would have noticed or been willing to respond. He lifted his considerable and muscular bulk from the seat to let me in leaving his 'stuff' on the middle seat. "No" I said, "we'll be needing both of those.
He was nearly apoplectic. I stared him down. Probably Nomans was doing the same behind me; I didn't bother looking. He removed his 'stuff' and we sat down. He sulked through two more stops until he got off. I wished he'd been stuck with us for hours.
This evening I got on the Danbury line in Stamford heading for home and the train was more crowded than usual and there was a man guilty of performing sin #7 which I had yet to encounter, though I'd heard plenty about the audacity that leads weaselly little people to take the lion's share of the space while old ladies and pregnant people pass out between cars. OK, I exaggerate. But still.
I should mention that there were empty seats behind him.
I have no mercy.
I stood at the edge of the seat (he wouldn't look at me, that's how this works) and said without an excuse me or by your leave, "I need one of those seats". My tone clearly indicated that I was not moving.
He looked up, gathered his things and moved to the window seat leaving his 'stuff' securely filling the middle seat. I stuffed my backpack between my legs and pulled out my book (I'm re-reading _Still Life With Woodpecker_ at the moment) and proceeded to ignore him.
Once into South Norwalk the train empties greatly and there were many seats completely empty around us.
I did not move.
Small, unhappy grunts emanated from the window seat to my right but I would not meet his eye or turn my head or acknowledge that there was anyone on this train but me.
I read my book. I laughed out loud (who doesn't when reading TR?). I stayed there until thirty seconds from my stop and giggled all the way to the door.
I am 44. I ought to know better but I'd rather not. I'm having way too much fun. Next week I tackle the middle seats.
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