Pesach

Today we are all free men. Pesach. Passover. Rites of spring, fertility and the chance, one more time, to celebrate life. All the more fitting that the garden is complete in terms of soil and fencing and today I saw that the radishes and garlic apparently mean business.

I know you probably can't see the fencing, but it's there. This year's version of deer proof is a lot lighter then last year's and so when we were about half way around and ran out of last year's I just kind of wished we'd started with the new stuff. Either way, it has to be tent pegged to the ground to discourage the larger animals from crawling under. Nothing to be done about the bunnies for the time being although I don't notice many in these parts. Probably got et up by the now local to us coyotes.

Here's something that made me stop and question my belief system. Yesterday I went to one of the larger locally owned and privately operated hardware stores in Stamford (because we were there) to get the yellow and orange tent pegs you see holding the fence down. The hardware store wanted $8.99 for six and so I bought four sets despite what I thought was a steep price and congratulated myself on going to the hardware store instead of the local EMS which surely would have charged double. I had to go into the EMS anyway, as it turned out, and there were the exact same tent pegs for $3 per set. I bought another four sets, scratched my head and then wondered if EMS wasn't working on becoming the Walmart of camping supplies. Still not sure what to make of all that.

Tonight we make a Seder. Last night we ate hotdogs (I'm sorry). Given that Nomans is the only Jew in the house we do our best to make a Seder when we can have more than two or three of us at any one time. My brother is coming and he'll have no idea what to make of this but he'll manage. I have not done everything I should have, there is still plenty non-kosher and yeast ridden product in my cupboards and I did not clean the kitchen or the refrigerator and I know it's expected but I'm letting go of this misguided belief that as the woman in this house it's my responsibility to make sure the rituals are followed, mine or otherwise. It is true that I pick and choose what suits me and if he wanted the house cleaned of hametz he could have done it. See me struggle with the shoulds and the coulds? I am silly.

Instead I made Sunday sauce (which does happen to have a small bit of pork) for later in the week and chicken soup for the matzoh balls I've got to assemble shortly and nice brisket (why is a brisket always referred to as a nice brisket even when it is clearly not a nice brisket like when it's been cooked badly and you couldn't cut it up to save your life?) and then later some kuggelettes (kind of like potato popovers) and Nomans has made a frightfully good charoset which is basically chopped/ground fruits and nuts and a bit of alcohol thrown in to bind it. I also made a pecan and ginger torte and discovered that you can indeed get juice from ginger root. And then there's the business of the lamb shank and the hard boiled egg and the bitter herb and the horse radish and my salivary glands working over time all except for the matzoh, which nobody should eat without benefit of prunes.

But we will make a Seder. And tonight we are all Jews by proxy by virtue of our humanity and our desire to make it right.

And the first question is:

Why is this night different from all other nights?

I like to just be with that for a bit.