June 02, 2010
I woke up before the alarm went off. The thing about waking up before I necessarily want to get out of bed is that any sudden movement, like rolling over toward the alarm clock cues the dogs so at 5:54 we were up like it or not. I didn't mind; I got enough sleep last night and I slept well. It's been awhile since that happened. I suppose I've wandered over another bridge. That's comforting, peaceful and exciting. And maybe a little scary.
The house is quiet and the morning is still and this is my favorite time of day no matter what Loki has served up. Somehow in tracking the weather for Pataskala and me I got a good enough look at the shifting patterns to recognize Loki's hand in all of this. I don't know how I missed it before.
This morning is truly beautiful. It is currently 58F and 97% humidity which feels damp and cool and the sun is out so that won't last much longer. In Pataskala it is 63F and 93% humidity and the sun is out but the sun isn't going to stay out much longer and rain is coming. I will have Pataskala's rain tomorrow, so sayeth Google Weather. I'm beginning to look forward to loki's version. I'm learning to let go. When I type or say that I always feel like I'm talking about an end result like someday I'll be in a perpetual state of let go. I suppose that's enlightenment or something like that but this is about the journey not that end result. I will always be learning to let go or not letting go.
I watched the dogs from the screened porch which is one story up. I see that they travel between the new beds on the grass path now. I suspect they'd still forget and gallop right through if they're chasing each other or a cat or God forbid a chicken; but maybe not. Simon has always had a healthy respect for boundaries inside and out and Homer is pretty good about the boundaries that don't bother him much. Sleeping on the furniture is not one of those things. He and I do not see eye to eye on that one and sometimes he forgets himself and leaps up on the couch before I've left the room. We have this little dance...
I'll work from home today because it is Wednesday. A lot of the time I don't leave my computer. I stay glued to it in a way that is very different than when I'm in the office. Part of that is no one is here to interrupt tasks I get lost in easily but also I think I feel guilty as if I should do more because I'm here and not there. I'm working on that. Part of it is driven by expectation and perception but there is a balance.
In a little while, after I fill out some very late time sheets I'm going to wander barefoot through what's left of the back yard. I'll say hello to the chickens and give the babies more food. I need to get the other section of fencing up soon because another batch of babies will be picked up tomorrow or Friday. This time there will be 30 part to make up for the seven I lost and part because I think I can handle 30 this round. I'm better at it now. I'm learning to stop being so hard on myself. That self flagellation gets in the way of actual learning. Shame never taught anybody anything good.
I'll walk through the garden barefoot looking for more breakfast. Strawberries are on the menu this month and they are prolific. I don't know enough about the grapes and raspberries I put in to know if I'll see fruit this year or not. I know I'll have blueberries in awhile and then wild raspberries and blackberries from the hidden patch I found last year in that jungle of a marsh I've got going on.
In the garden I will tell myself to get in and get out but that won't happen. I leave the hoe out there for a reason. I'll pick it up because I'm inclined to do so and likely as not I'll end up on my knees pulling up things I don't want to be growing with the things I do want to be growing. I practiced some restraint this year and have not over planted. I hope. Well, at least less over planting than last year and definitely quite a bit of rotation. I'll drag another 4 x 4 out of the garden when I leave. I've decided I don't need them in the garden but I do need them to be fence posts. I had a good look at them the other day. They'll do.
My last stops are the animal pens. I love to let the babies out because they follow me like ducklings because they know I've got the food and water. I have to be careful not to step on them. Sometimes one of the mean girls will shove her half her body under the common fence to get at the baby food. I push it farther away but she tries anyway. The bunny is lonely I think. Maybe that's my stuff.
Maybe I will remember to hose down my feet before I come back into the house and maybe I won't. I am not bothered by dirt in my house anymore. The dog hair and slobber gets to be a bit much but the dirt doesn't mean a thing other than we live outside easily. It's ok to bring outside back in. As a matter of fact in a lot of ways it's a very good thing. This morning I reminded Little Girl that Daddy Long legs and Mosquito eaters are our friends and we certainly do want them in the house. We love lady bugs too. And worms. Big juicy worms. They won't do much good in the house though (and I've never seen them in the house).
I've been here writing on and off for two hours. I get up and wander about, I wake up Little Girl, I say good-bye to Cletus. Little Girl and I have our Wednesday shower. I talk to Cielo on Facebook and I make breakfast for Little Girl and I. I wander around in my underwear and t-shirt because I have no idea where the skirt I want has hidden itself. Eventually I find it which is good because I shouldn't be in the back yard in next to nothing unless it's a bathing suit which is surely more revealing. Funny how we are about that kind of thing.
I remember once a young man was in Bikram in his boxers. They weren't revealing at all but they bothered people anyway. It was all he had. He was passing through and wanted to practice. Our studio rents mats and towels and will sell you water. Shorts, not so much. I remember that he was very, very good. I am also aware that there are students in yoga gear that is terribly revealing in certain postures. I do NOT want to see your balls escaping your shorts. Please.
No pictures today, not even Loki's report (I've already discussed that). CG reminds me to use my words. They are far more powerful than visuals no matter what we think.