It was an albatross, almost all of it, and I don't believe I ever asked for it. This doesn't mean I didn't make those choices; it just means I don't have to continue making those choices. I can stop now,... Read more →


Freshman Year - Fall Semester: Lesson Number One: these are not your siblings These are not your siblings. If you were lucky enough to grow up with a room of your own, that time is over. The room you share... Read more →


Elizabeth was six the year Lucia turned sixteen, and Florida was a furnace in August. Lucia asked only for the Magic Kingdom and given the year she'd had, we sucked it up. She chose the book bonking best friend as... Read more →


This story has been told, but the truth about stories is they're never told the same way twice. It's August, 2015 and Elizabeth is dancing with FAB at DANY Studios down on 38th, somewhere between 8th and 9th. She didn't... Read more →


Five year old footsteps pounding down the hall from the living room... ...MAHHHHHHHMMMMMYYYY! MICHAEL'S NOT DOING NICENESS COUNTS!!!!! MOMMMMMMEEEEEEE!!! I don't know what he did, but she turned his ass in, assuming there might be such thing as a Niceness... Read more →


We migrated south from New England, down to the Badlands of Fairfield County. Technically still New England by virtue of the nearly invisible line separating it from Westchester County, New England it was not. I'd never stayed in any one... Read more →


Lawrence Fischman, again, I tell you, SHE DID NOT MEAN IT! You gotta let it go, Dude. Really. You think I did this to myself? Wait, don't tell me. Now you're going to blame one of the sister wives. Lawrence... Read more →