Channeling Carl Spackler I start out with a dangerously sharp four pronged implement of destruction and the fervent belief that I'm tackling no more than undesirable rhizomes and maybe some grass and stuff - because there is always grass and... Read more →


This is what an eleven year old Prius cannot do: 65 mph uphill in the rain with about four times the load it can reasonably be expected to bear. All three vehicles had about four times the load they can... Read more →


Hank could not believe she would do this. To staple a gold paper crown to his head and drop him down a well was one thing. To leave him down here with half a pack of Newport Lights and one... Read more →


Eponym's Pub attempted to commence business at the tail end of the Miocene Epoch; this was a financial disaster as most of its client base was still trying to find the land bridge. The staff attempted to collect unemployment benefits... Read more →


They were lovely babies, Hank, what the hell happened? You fed them too much gluten. I did not! Yes you did. You fed them pasta as soon as they had four teeth between them. Well, it's not like they would... Read more →