What do you want? What? What do you want? I don't want my eyes to bleed. What? What does that even mean? It means I don't want a job that makes my eyes bleed. Fair enough. Are you open to... Read more →

It's 2 am and I'm an hour late. I know one of them will be waiting at the top of the stairs and it's crapshoot. My mother will be in the recliner with a book or my father will be... Read more →

This is what an eleven year old Prius cannot do: 65 mph uphill in the rain with about four times the load it can reasonably be expected to bear. All three vehicles had about four times the load they can... Read more →

I had a job to do and you made a mess of that. Not only do my job descriptions change without notice every two or three hundred years, but at least once a decade some dumb ass comes into this... Read more →

Eponym's Pub attempted to commence business at the tail end of the Miocene Epoch; this was a financial disaster as most of its client base was still trying to find the land bridge. The staff attempted to collect unemployment benefits... Read more →

At the end of January, the polar vortex came though forcing me to visit the storage room. I don't much care for the storage room. It's dark, crowded, and occupied. At the end of November, Lawerence Fischman made a sound... Read more →

Lawrence Fischman, again, I tell you, SHE DID NOT MEAN IT! You gotta let it go, Dude. Really. You think I did this to myself? Wait, don't tell me. Now you're going to blame one of the sister wives. Lawrence... Read more →

Yeah, I know, this site's on hiatus and all that but I really do have something relevant to share. Did something called Bikram Yoga today. 90 minutes in a 105 degree room with relative humidity at or about 40%. Yikes.... Read more →

It's been awhile since we had Sunday around here. Wait, Sunday always happens, right? Maybe I should call up Tom Robbins and ask his opinion about time (I'm working my way through all of his books again; it's been long... Read more →

I don't have anything today. I made Bolognese and Tomato Rice Lamb soup for the Christmas baskets. NoMans is canning them now. Meat takes a long time. Tomorrow I think more jam and lemon curd and Pannetone and then I'll... Read more →